Those of you who work in retail know when I say that bathroom duty (pun intended) can make or break a night. It can make a night when everything is clean already, and all you really end up doing is changing out the trash. On the other hand, it can horribly ruin your day when that special class of people pays your restroom a visit.

   I am talking about the people who leave dirty diapers on the floor or the counter, as well as those that seem to know nothing about aiming both while urinating as well as um, other business.

   Today’s story is about one of those days. I was 17 at the time, and I was a customer Service Manager for Wally-World. I was having quite the exceptional day, everything was going smoothly, and really the shift was going by fast. I should have known that a day like that doesn’t exist when you’re making $8.25 an hour working at Walmart.

   Everything started to happen around 7:00 PM when we had noticed that a customer had been in our private restroom, usually meant for mothers with young children and handicapped people for well over an hour. We were, for the most part, used to this, as some people would use our restrooms to do more than just relieve themselves. We ignored it and went about our day.

   I worked with other customer service manager named Terra (name changed of course) who was a godsend. She was the by far the only reason I stayed there for so long. She was like a second mother to me. Well, Terra also was a bit older and tended to need to use the restroom often. She had just left to use the restroom when she came back less than a minute later and told me to walk into the private restroom. I knew by her colorless express that is was going to be bad, but in my seventeen years, I had never seen anything as revolting.

   As soon as I approached the door, the smell hit me. I had already gone this far, so at this point, I was “in it for the win” when I opened the door it had looked like a poop-infused stick of TNT had gone off. There were thick globs of runny goop smeared all over the toilet seat, the walls surrounding the toilet, as well as the floor. Looking back on it I often think of it as that scene from Daddy Daycare. There was a pair of almost unrecognizable tighty whities, or tighty brownies lying on the floor next to the sink. There was crap on the sink, the mirror, even on the paper towel dispenser. I have never seen so much crap in my entire life! I can only imagine that the person must not have taken a dump in at least two weeks.

   I ran out of there almost losing my lunch in the process and said the hell with this I do not get paid ANYWHERE near enough to deal with this. I taped up the door, and went into my store manager’s office. I searched through his contact book until I found our emergency biohazard cleanup crew. Mind you I had the full backing of my other manager on duty, and we could not get ahold of the store manager, or assistant manager. Both of which would have told us to clean it ourselves, like hell we would!

   I ended up calling the hotline, which normally deals with massive spills of chemicals, or blood, They made it out to our store by the time I was leaving at midnight. I ended up getting called into the store manager’s office the next day to get completely chewed out. Turns out it cost our store $1400 to have them come out. However they do have to take photos of whatever they clean and he had a copy of them. The only reason I was able to keep my job, was because I had tried to call him and the assistant manager, as well as having Terra back me up. A few months down the road the store manager and I were having a casual conversation when he finally admitted to me that he would have done the same.