Dear Drunks and Druggies, as a retail employee we are very familiar with your kind. Sure it is 10:00 AM on a Tuesday morning, but in your inebriated mind it might as well be 10:00 PM on a Friday night. We promise that we can differentiate between having a snack craving, versus having a weed and 40 ouncer infused munchie fest. We can also tell that that ahhem, “organic” smell following fifteen feet around you is not a traditional cooking ingredient. Same goes when you come to the counter to pay for your $40 in Doritos, Pringles, and mac & cheese. Simply put we know.

     While most of our companies tell us during our first week that if we can smell the liquor on your breath then we can deny the sale, but your drunken self just wants your beer and beef jerky. You will be damned if we deny that basic human right. So more often than not we go ahead and sell you the beer all while noting your vehicle and drivers license that way the police can stop you before you kill someone in your custom lifted F-250 that costs more than the first two years of my college education.

     We do call the police every time, and we relish reading those $1.00 weekly magazines at the convenient stores like Just Busted Weekly. Some stores will even keep a tally over the course of a month or more just to see how many of you we can put behind bars. Albeit not the type of bars we are sure you’re used to sitting at.

     As the Fourth of July comes today we simply ask that you remain safe, and do not drive intoxicated. After all we enjoy making sales and you killing someone in our parking lot would really hurt our business. Stay safe, enjoy your fireworks, but most importantly be responsible.

Have a wonderful Holiday,

     -Rex