So I am going to split this up into two parts today, because not only do customers ask the dumbest questions but occasionally even a coworker can ask something pretty of the wall.
Below is a list of some of the more memorable things customers have asked me recently.
1. Where are the bathrooms?
2. Can I use this coupon from last year?
3. How do I get to (competitor store) from here? “Gee I don’t know how about you use that phone in your hand there to google it?”
4. This was on sale last week, can I get that price instead?
5. Can you price match this item to Walmart’s price?
6. Can you give me your employee discount? (I hear this just about every fucking day!)
7. Well, why not?
8. Lat time I was here this was cheaper I want that price. ( Okay, how about no)
9. I lost my credit card can I just take this and pay you tomorrow?
10. (clearly drunk already) “Yeah where is your “beers” at?
11. Can I get your number? (Just because I am gay does not mean I am interested in a 60+-year-old man)
12. Why do you work here? (my favorite response is telling them my parents sold me to CVS and I am paying off my debt.)
13 I need my propane refilled, can you come home and pick it up for me? (SERIOUSLY?!?!?!)
14. Are you guys closed? (No the security gate is down and I am walking to my car what do you think dumbass?)
15. (on the phone) Can you do a MoneyGram for ten thousand dollars to me as a test transaction?
That was fifteen of many of the dumbest questions I have been asked by customers over the last few weeks. Now let’s move on to the employee side of things. Some of you may get these and some of you may not. I apologize, but I want to keep the questions as close to the originals as possible.
1. Hey, can you cover for me tomorrow? (I had just worked eleven days in a row and the girl knew that.)
2. Can I go home early so I can watch Big Brother tonight?
3. Am I allowed to go to the liquor store on my lunch break? (Only if you bring me something back!)
4. (asked a cashier to put a bag of candy back on the shelf a customer did not want as I was checking out a customer) Where does it go? (the item was literally right behind her and she had worked there for over a year!)
5. Where does the trash go?
6. What time do we close? (the same time we have closed for the last year!)
7. Can I just stay at the register all day instead of working on task? (yeah if you want to get written up and put us behind)
8. Can I keep the extra twenty dollars in the register?
9. Would I REALLY get fired if I stole this candy bar?
10. Can I go to the bathroom? (FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST TELL ME YOU NEED TO GO DON’T ASK!)
So this is a bit short today because I am in the process of moving this month. Life has been very hectic between work, class and moving. So yeah hate me all you want. I am hoping to get some future story ideas from coworkers and fans on Twitter that way I can get started much earlier in the week. Thanks for reading until next time