CVS – I am Under Investigation For Rainchecks!

   Welcome back everyone, Rex here and let me start out by stating that I am “under investigation” from CVS. Much easier to say than I originally thought. You see I have spent the last week trying to figure out how in the hell I was going to explain all of this without going into a blind rage and throwing my keyboard across the room or just rage quitting at work.

 

   As many of you know, I am a shift manager for CVS. I like to think that I do my job well, and thankfully I have customer service scores to back up that claim along with a perfect attendance record. I have been with the company for over a year now, and honestly, everything has been great up until a few months ago.

   We switched management and the transitionary period has not gone as smoothly as one would hope. In fact, one could even say that it has been a fucking nightmare. Nothing directly against the new management, but I believe the process was rushed which has caused tension within the entire district as many other stores were affected as well.

   However, that not exactly what I am bitching about today. For anyone that has for whatever reason never shopped at CVS let me fill you in on a very important little-known fact. If we are out of stock on anything that is on sale you can request a raincheck. Sure technically an employee is supposed to offer you a substitution first, but we more often than not we cannot refuse to issue a raincheck Not only can you request a raincheck, but they NEVER expire. The only policy that we as store level employees have to worry about when writing rainchecks is to make sure we follow any applicable limits often detailed in the weekly newspaper insert.

   That said I was working last Friday when I noticed that our Regional Loss Prevention manager along with someone I did not recognize came into the store shortly after I arrived. I was the manager on duty so I greeted them and let them into the office thinking that this visit was just like any other unexpected audit, or something else equally uneventful. About ten minutes later I noticed that our new store manager whom I will name Amber was in the store. She was scheduled to have the day off, and it is very unusual for her to be in the store on her day off without at least calling first.

   Well, Amber approaches me and tell me that The Loss Prevention manager had called her and told her she had ten minutes to get to the store and that they wanted to talk with me. At this point, I am freaking the fuck out because I just know that they discovered the website. In my mind, that was the only thing it could have been. So I went ahead and made my way to the office just knowing they had discovered I was behind RetailAnonymous

   As I approached the door and used my office key to enter my heart started beating out of my chest. I entered and Hellen the loss prevention manager (not her real name) and Ken a store manager in another district( also not his real name) were sitting on one side of the office, with an empty piece of junk plastic chair reminiscent of the kind of chairs you’d find in school sat on the other side of the office. I immediately know that this is something big and likely my last day.

   Hellen immediately asks me if I know why I was having this meeting and in my mind, I am thinking “RETAILANONYMOUS… THE WEBSITE…HOW DID THEY FIND OUT I WAS THE OWNER????” However, I keep it cool and chose to play dumb. I answered that I figured it was over some fraudulent coupons that slipped through a cashier recently while I was the manager on duty. Both Ken and Hellen seemed to laugh at my answer and assured me that coupons were not the problem, but in fact, that they needed to speak to me over something much more serious.

   Again in my mind, I am thinking about the website, at this point, it is fairly well known in our region, and I have tons of fellow CVS employees that follow and message me daily.  We had even talked about it previously on a conference call in which they told us to be on the lookout for anyone that mentions the website. I ended up playing dumb for a few more minutes because the website was the only thing that would call for a meeting. (Even though I have the company provided disclaimer on the site) I had prepared myself for the fallout since the conception of the website and had been careful upon setting up RetailAnonymous. I knew eventually though I would slip up, but thankfully this was not the case.

   Finally, Ken speaks up and says enough is enough and that this was my last chance to “fess up”. I tell him I have no idea what they are wanting from me, and that I have a lot of work to get back to. Hellen stops me and says “RAINCHECKS” I am thinking okay… rainchecks what the hell about them? She then pulls out a folder of which hid a raincheck that I claimed at another store two months prior for an oral care item that gave cash back in the form of ExtraBucks I am thinking at this point what is wrong? She immediately began about how I was “caught” and then proceeded to tell me what I already knew, I had used the raincheck at another store which is closer to my home, and when they wouldn’t honor giving back the extra bucks I returned the product so that I could redeem it at my store another day.

   At this point, I am really confused about the whole thing. All I have been shown is a very quick glance at this raincheck, and then she begins to tell me how the signatures on the raincheck where the cashier sign, and on my refund slip match. I know this is impossible because I had never and will never write my own rainchecks as that is immediate termination. Despite how much I truly despise the company I still am loyal and would never want to be canned. Especially not to save a few dollars. She hands it back over to me and tells me to take a closer look at it. Once I do I start laughing my ass off! This clearly pisses them off.

 

   The associate who wrote and signed the raincheck was someone who worked in the same store that I do and has a name starting with the same letter. She tells me “See the J’s match” I am laughing so hard at this point they both are clearly pissed off as well as confused. I then finally speak up and say “yeah the J’s are similar but did you even read the whole name”? Both Ken and Hellen look at me with confusion as I tell them, “ Read the whole signature, that is not even my name!” Clearly, they’re embarrassed as I had just made it blatantly obvious that they lack the skill to do an even basic job, but instead of letting their mistake be the end of everything they decided to push the matter further.

   Next, they started questioning me about some “suspicious transactions” I had made over the course of my entire employments. Seriously going back over a year! I explained to them yeah, I bought 10 bags of adult diapers back a few months ago. I was collecting donations. Yes, I had bought bulk amounts of tissues, and again they were for donations. Everyone in my district generally knows me in that regard. I am often asking coworkers to print a coupon or two online that way I can buy products to donate to a few different local charities. My family has always been active in the community, and that rubbed off on me even into adulthood.

   I am then told that I was seen with a stack of rainchecks at the store I had gone to in order to buy the oral care item and that I had multiple tips called into our employee theft hotline because of the rainchecks. I had nothing to hide, so I told them that I do in fact own a large collection of rainchecks (100+) that I have gained over the course of my employment. This gets them going like fireworks on fourth of July. I am sure that by this point Ken had a rent a cop boner raging in his pants because they thought they had me “caught” me like some burglar in the night. They were obviously excited over the fact that I had admitted to having rainchecks, and thus began the questioning.

   I ended up answering everything they had, and toward the end, they ask me why I have so many rainchecks. I tell them that because rainchecks never expire I can keep them for as long as I wash and in five or ten years when soda is ten dollars a pack or milk is $8.00 a gallon,  that I will still be able to receive my items at much lower prices. I told them that because I spend money here just as any other customer I had the option of taking rainchecks instead of substitutions. I told them I love working at the store because I get to see what we are out of and get my rainchecks on a weekly basis.

   This really pisses them off and they start their hour long discussion about how what I was doing was wrong because In the future when I claimed them I would be creating a loss for the company. They lecture me like a child being scolded for sneaking a cookie before bedtime. I am told that as an employee I am “held to a higher standard” than ordinary customers and that my job is to protect the company from loss. After being scolded and belittled for close to an hour I am getting pretty pissed off because they have yet to tell me what policies I have violated.

   I ask them for a copy of any policies I have allegedly broken, or violated, as well as any accompanying laws. Obviously, they could not produce any, as I had not broken any official or unofficial CVS policies nor state or federal laws. They again go on about how my job was to protect the company. I am furious at this point because they have already wasted an hour and a half of my time. Keep in mind that this is the holidays, and every minute counts. Hellen and Keith once again start down the same path, so I interject myself before we spend another hour on this, and state that my job is to provide the best possible customer service and that my record was exemplary. I had over 100+ positive surveys and less than 5 negative ones since my employment. I also had perfect attendance and a glowing annual evaluation. I also reminded them that I often go well above and beyond, by helping other stores, as well as going outside my job description to keep our store running. I am getting paid to be a shift, while I do the job of an operations manager.

   I once again informed them that I had not broken any policies or laws, to which they completely ignored for a few minutes prior to admitting that I had in fact not violated any CVS policies. Finally, Ken talks up and says that I’m in the “gray zone” and that while there are no policies about what I was doing that I had been abusing the privilege of rainchecks. Not to mention that I was “taking advantage” of my position with the store to benefit my own financial gain. Hellen then proceeded to ask me to guess how many rainchecks she had received over her 20+ years with the company. Knowing that she would not have asked me to answer unless it was obvious I state “let me guess none” She tells me with this dumbass grin on her face that I was right, and then asks if I know why.

   I think my answer clearly showed how done I was with this witch-hunt, but I loved every second of it. I told her “I guess because you love paying full price for shit that we clearly overcharge customers on, and that you’re just not that that bright a bulb.” This was the epitome of my employment at CVS everything that had built up over the last year from horrible customers to conflicting policies and lack of communication between management levels all came out in one perfectly described sentence.

   At this point over two and, a half hours had passed. They are furious, as am I. They had wasted precious time over a raincheck that was not my signature and then tried to go after me for something that broke no laws or policies. They both begin demanding that I stop requesting rainchecks and promise not to do it again. Essentially I told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine,I told them right out that that I would continue because I had every right to get rainchecks just as any other paying customer. The only difference was the amount of tie I spent in the store and thus the opportunities I had to request them

   Hellen then tried to tell me again that I am held to a “higher standard” than customers, and I replied with, “you are absolutely right, that is why I followed all policies and had a cashier verify we were out of stock and then write them for me.” Of course, my chunky dimpled ass had the biggest grin on my face while stating that. Hellen then goes to tell me that I am not the same as a customer because we are given a “discount card” I asked her if she meant the piece of plastic junk that is unusable when items are on already sale? Even items that are on sale for buy one get one 50% off are not eligible to receive discounts on when only purchasing one!

   I say this because as many of you know our discount card does not work on merchandise which is on sale, and I am totally fine with that.Truth be told I would feel kind of bad if we were allowed to double dip and use our discount on sale items What sucks about the CVS discount card is often their “sale” price is much worse than what we would actually get if we were able to use our discount card! Not to mention that at any given time we will have anywhere from 18-24 thousand items on sale in our stores. For those that work or have worked at CVS, many find out that the “discount card” is often useless, and we often pay the same price as everyone else.

   In the end, I tell them both that I need to know how this is ending. If this is a write-up or termination. Either of which I truly did not care about. I told them that CVS is a job for me, not a career that I am a student for a reason. I told them that I am choosing to better my life with an education that way I was not stuck in a place like this for 20+ years like Hellen. I also explained that I had never called in, been late, or been in trouble prior to them showing up. I told them that at this point that I did not care what happened and that I was pissed that they would even try to make a big deal over something that was within my rights as an employee. Not to mention that if they had actually done their job in the first place and properly compared the signatures that my time as well as theirs would not have been wasted.

   I am told that I am still under “formal investigation”, and that they will be going back through all of my transactions since my employment. I am also told that I will not hear anything until the next week (Currently this week). I leave and go back to work and finish the rest of the day pissed off about the whole thing. Three and a half hours were gone because they cannot do their fucking jobs, and when called out want to start a witch-hunt

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 Many of you that have read this far are probably wondering why in the holy fuck I would publish this, as even with the names changed it is pretty self-evident to our managers as to who I am. Well, the answers are the same that I gave Helen and Ken. I had been a wonderful employee, had the 3’rd best customer service scores in the entire region, and I have always come in on days off when needed. I have other methods of income, and great references for my resume should I decide (or forced into) going elsewhere.

   So Hellen, if you are reading this and I know you are; learn to do your fucking job, and stop harassing employees that have perfect records. If you want a fight you will get one. As I sure as hell am not going down without one. I’ve sweat blood for this company as well as this store and will no longer sit back and do nothing. I have done nothing wrong, and you are simply trying to fuck me over because I embarrassed you. If you want to fight dirty, then I shall reciprocate the favor.

   – Rex

 

Submitted Content November 2016

November 16, 2016

***NOTE: The Following Stories are submissions and have been posted on Reddit previously. All credit goes to the content creators on the following Reddit link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e5dt1/retail_horror_stories_whos_got_good_ones/

***

thepinksalmon:

I worked as a cashier/photo-tech exclusively during my tenure at this oh-so-wonderful store. If you wanted film developed you had the option for one hour service or send out service with kodak. The kodak service has next to nothing to do with us. We put the film canister in a bag with the customer’s info and order info on it and then mail the bag to kodak. A few days later we get the photos back from them and make the sale. A woman came in on my shift asking for her sent out photos. I get three bags for her and ring everything up. She tells me, “oh no, i’m supposed to have four rolls and what the hell this bag doesn’t have any photos in it just this piece of film canister” According to her this is all my fault, these photos are irreplaceable because they’re from her daughter’s baby shower and she was the only one with a camera and she was getting me fired for this shit. Well I don’t know what the fuck happened on the kodak side of things but all I do is seal a bag so fuck off you can deal with my manager. My manager apologizes and gives her all the film for free. Fair enough.

Let me preface this one by saying that I only ever worked the closing shift, I did not know how to start up anything. CVS closed at 10pm when I worked there. The photo dept closed at 9pm. At 9pm I promptly shut off everything, including the self-serve photo machine as long as there isn’t a line. Some guy came in at 9:30 asking to use the self serve machine. I kindly explain to him that the photo dept closes at 9 but he can come back as soon as we open in the morning to use it. He instantly escalates to yelling at me. I reassure him that this is store policy and I can’t do anything for him. As far as I know the machine takes 30 minutes to start up so he can’t even use it before we close. My manager came up to deal with that man and has me wait in the back to diffuse the situation. That sonofbitch turned the machine on for the customer. If it is store policy to shut down the dept at 9 then fucking back me up when I tell that to a customer. Don’t make me look like a dick for following YOUR rules.

Last one, I promise. I processed a check from somebody for over $100. The next week I am called into the manager’s office. This guy went to all the CVS stores in the area and wrote checks for big purchases like this. Every single check bounced or was fraudulent or some such. I was written up for failing to have the manager authorize the over $100 check, a policy I was never informed of…

reddittrees2 5 points 6 years ago

Used to work for Circuit City conning people into spending their money on bullshit Monster products and high end TV’s. A small selection of stuff:

Woman’s kid pukes all over my department, woman just takes her kids and walks away, like it never even happened.

Went into the back one day and the second I opened the door I could smell a stench worse then death. Went in the men’s room and found out that someone had clogged a toilet, and someone else had used it anyway. Laying down paper towels in the bottom, and then leaving a great big pile of shit on top. No water in the bowl. I’m so glad I had nothing to do with cleaning that up.

People would try to return things that obviously weren’t returnable all the time. People would throw things at cashiers when they didn’t get their way.

I had one guy who asked me about a record player that had been there since before I was hired and we were selling it anyway. I told him how long it had probably been there and that it was broken. He asked if I could give it to him for free. When I said no, the price should be on a tag next to it he freaked the fuck out on me.

Black Friday was a fucking nightmare. We worked 3AM to 4PM shifts. People were utterly insane, the store was a fucking mess beyond recognition at the end of the day. If I had to stay and clean that up I would have killed someone. I smoked the biggest doobie ever on break that day and it was the only way I made it through the day.

People are pigs. We’d find half eaten food all the time, almost empty soda bottles stashed behind products and in random places on the floor. I can’t tell you how many times I found old disgusting moldy food.

Stuff like OP is talking about? Every single I got chewed out because I couldn’t take a few hundred dollars off the sticker price of a TV. People thought they were shopping for a used car. We were encouraged as hell to push Monster products because they have high GM, and people complained when the cheapest cables in the store were $40. I told them to check the internet.

People would call in all the time, almost every day, and be like “Well I’m looking for a TV but I don’t know what I want, what do you have?” When I’ve literally got a wall of 40 different TV sets behind me.

The retail world is fucking disgusting, people in general are slobby, sloppy, disgusting, messy creatures, who will do just about anything they can to save a few bucks. I had one guy literally beg me to give him $50 off a $2500 TV. Anything to feel like they’re getting a deal.

I reflect on my time with Circuit City as some of the worst, most disgusting, horrid, insightful, educational times of my life when it comes to how people really are, the majority of people. I left when the company finally went belly up, and despite being unemployed since I’ve never considered working for a big box retailer again. I know people will call me an idiot for not taking whatever job I can find, but it’s just not worth going insane for a paycheck to me.

A Change In Management

A change in management

     As mentioned, recently our district went through a bit of restructuring. As a result, many of the store managers have been moved around.  Unfortunately, this meant that the best manager I had ever worked with was forced to leave the comforts of our own hell to be disemboweled at another store. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I like to think of it like buying a used car. Sometimes it is better to keep your old car because you know what the problems are. Whereas if you go to buy a used car you really have no idea what you are getting until ex-post facto.

    Well for those of you who do not already know I now only work Fridays through Sundays. I still maintain my full-time hours by working double shifts and having Monday through Thursday off allows me more time to focus on my educational goals, as well as other obligations. Essentially I am known as the weekend manager.  I do my job well, and ensure that everything is well handled over the weekends and ready for the upcoming week. I typically am responsible for tasks such as changing our sales stickers throughout the entire store, as well as performing a weekly count on my entire department and correcting any errors. This part of my job is called a Balance On Hand count or (BOH).

    For a typical week, I usually have to modify the counts on 20-25 items in my department Over The Counter (keep in mind that this is by far the largest department in the store) Well just two days before the manager change we received our truck delivery which was unusually large. When I came in for that weekend I noticed way too many holes in not only my department but throughout the store. On Sunday when I can actually perform the BOH count I began scanning and had a total of 83 holes that should have had product but did not. I checked the backroom to no avail and eventually discovered that our delivery manifest was completely wrong.  The delivery showed I was receiving products that had not been delivered, so in a panic, I began calling around to our district manager as well as out warehouse. The warehouse is closed as it is a Sunday, so I have to call our new manager. What a hell of a way to make an impression.

    Fast forward to that next Friday and once again I am in a dire panic from the first second I enter the building to start my shift. I immediately take notice that truck is still not completed and that the store itself is in horrible shape. There is merchandise on the floor, stuff piled in corners, and literally shit on the bathroom floor! After a couple minute walkthrough, I realized that the store is going to take some work to get back on track. Mind you I am not at all blaming the new store manager, but I do believe that some of the employees are taking advantage of the situation.

    One example is that Monday through Wednesday we really have no major task planned, so on these days we typically would do any planograms that need to be done, as well as our weekly merchandise out of date check. However, it seems that nothing was actually done during the week except for what the new store manager did herself. In fact, I applaud the new store manager, because although she was scheduled off Saturday and Sunday she still came in. This means she has already gone two full weeks without even a half day off. I am transferring stores here come January, not because of the change in management, but because I am moving colleges, and before I leave this store, I want to help her have a successful team. So I have already begun training my replacement, who is currently only a cashier. My hope is that when it comes time to hire or promote, she will see the value of the trainee and internally promote them instead of externally hiring a new employee.

    Overall the transition has been anything but smooth but given time I do believe that our new store manager will not only be successful at this store but that she will have a successful career in the company as a whole.

Dear Couponers

 Dear crazy couponers, no I do not mean the polite and respectful people. Nor is this for the sweet older people who rely on coupons to make ends meet. No you guys are alright. In fact, we actually tend to like you and have no problem helping you or answering questions.

   However, if you are the type of couponer who arrives half an hour before the store opens binder in hand and demands to be let in early then this is for you. Maybe you were raised by animals, or perhaps your parents just were too lazy to inform you that you are not the only one in the world. We dread your presence, not because you are going to hold up our lines and put us behind. Instead, we dread your coming because we know that means you are going to be a complete bitch about every single thing. For instance, I would like to share what you all do to piss us off.

  • Using photocopied coupons. Each coupon you print from home will have a unique number under the barcode. We tell you multiple times that scanning a coupon and copying it is a crime and that we are not taking them and yet you still return every week and try to do it all over again. Hell, now we keep both copies of the coupons and tell you we are not using either one, and yet you still try to plead innocence. Bullshit THIS IS THEFT!

  • Using multiple reward cards. This really pisses us off. If an offer is one per household your damned right that we are going to limit your ass. Yet you still complain and occasionally call corporate. We seriously hate you!

  • Opening a “store” out of your house. We see this quite often on Craigslist, and loss prevention is keeping tabs on you. This really wouldn’t be a problem if you were not putting in your ads that they can return the stuff they buy from you to our store for cash. No receipt means no cash!

  • Returning couponed items without a receipt. Look we know you, we may not have sold the item to you but we know for a fact you did not pay full price. So we will continue to refuse the return without the receipt or we will call up other stores to look up the receipt to ensure we do not give you more than your lying ass paid.

   To all the crazy couponers out there, my message to you is simple. We hate you. We are cracking down, and we are even turning in those using photocopied coupons for fraud to the police department. Knowingly using falsified of copied coupons is a form of fraud. You are actually stealing money, because we are not reimbursed for any coupons that have already been redeemed. If you are one of these people I really urge you to reevaluate your life as you are no better than a shoplifter. Go fuck yourselves!

* I apologize for the delays and retracted stories. I am trying to balance my college life, work, this, and my stock portfolio and it all has been a bit much. I am trying to find a balance and I think the best medium for me is to move stories to Wednesdays, as that is my day off.

I am Going to Competitor Store!

   After what will likely go down as one of the longest months of my life I can now say that we are in our new home. We closed on Monday morning, and this whole process of moving (especially the haggling) has really gotten me to think about all the customers I experience at work that tend to be particularly difficult.

   One of those customers is a middle-aged Latin American woman who always comes in with an umbrella. I guess this woman does not understand that buying cereal and cold medicine is not like going to an estate sale or buying a car. As a store we have set prices, we cannot haggle with you. I swear this woman should have been featured on one of those ‘Extreme Cheapskate’ television shows that were so popular a few years back.  She is the type of woman who demands we reduce the price is the packaging is ever so slightly scratched, or demand that we match the price of Walmart or some other competitor.

   I as well as another manager have had to explain to her multiple times that we cannot simply change the price to please her, still every week she comes in and tries.

   Another type of problem customer I encounter quite often are the ones who insist you break policy or they are going to (Insert competitor here). I seriously get this at least once or twice a week. In fact just last week before starting my vacation I had a customer come in after the pharmacy was closed and demand that I open it to get her prescription because she “called and told them she would be late” I tried to explain to her that the only people with keys or alarm codes to the pharmacy were the pharmacists, and not even the store manager could get in after hours.  Yet the bitch was still insisting that I was lying to her and that I just did not want to help her.

   She ended up leaving the store a few minutes later knocking stuff off the shelves as she left proclaiming that she was never coming back and was going to Walgreens instead. Me being my snarky pissed off self immediately yelled back that she would have to wait until tomorrow anyway because our store would have to transfer the prescription. Yeah, I can be sassy too.

   I seriously think that these self-entitled asshole customers thing that we are going to drop everything and say “absolutely, your business is vital to us and we would love to break policy in order to make you happy.” In reality, everyone who works in retail that has dealt with a customer like this has likely had the same thought. “Yeah get the hell out of here, like your piddly ass is going to make or break this store. Go screw yourself, and goodbye.”

   I must say sitting in my new house, is quite nice. Now that everything is back on track content scheduling should go back to normal on 10/03/2016

My Time With Petsmart – Fetishists, Racoons, And More

   Working at Petsmart was quite the experience. Were it not for my store’s inexperienced management team I think I could have stayed on for a bit longer. None the less I did witness quite a few interesting encounters with customers on more than one occasion.

   The guy with the Man-Puppy-Slave

   One day while working a big burly man came into the store with a younger guy crawling on his hands and knees wearing a mask that made him look like a puppy dog. Not only was the guy walking on all fours, but the older and larger man was walking him on a leather leash. The younger (puppy slave) had one of those thick leather studded collars we sold in the store. Thank god this “puppy” did not potty on the floor! This explains the weekly occurrence of catching people trying on dog collars. My innocent mind just assumed their dog’s necks were about the same time until that night! I found a photo online (http://saffronsugar.tumblr.com/ )posted below to give you all an idea of what it looked like!

 

   The Pet Racoon

We had a middle-aged woman once come in all dolled up with expensive clothing and an obviously expensive purse. She had long blonde hair and walked with pride. Oh, and she had a pet Racoon. Yep not joking this woman had a pet raccoon. She would bring the filthy thing in sometimes on a leash and sometimes she would let the little bastard sit in the cart. Although he would occasionally let people including children touch him, he was by no means tame or even friendly. In fact, she told us the story once of how it became her pet. She had found in one day In her basement. She had kept it there for about a month throwing down food until it became acclimated enough to trust her. She even slept with the raccoon in her bed! There is NO way this woman was married! (Photo original to retailanonymous.com)

 

   NO TALKING!!!

I have mentioned Loretta the young African American woman I worked with at Petsmart before. I have also mentioned Karen, the older grumpy butch lesbian that worked as the assistant manager of the store. Well at Petsmart you typically do all of the facings after the store has closed. This means that you cannot begin cleaning the store until every customer has left, and often we would not get out on time. Well, more often than not the closing shift would be Loretta, Karen, a cashier and myself. Loretta and Karen would stay in the office watching youtube videos and literally NOT working while the cashier and myself would be responsible for cleaning the entire store. We were not allowed to clean on the same aisle, so we would often talk to the store or across the aisles. About anything to just pass the time, as we were not allowed a radio or any other noise.

   Well, one day Loretta and Karen storm out of the office and start screaming at us to stop talking and to get back to work. I blew the fuck up and started yelling out that I am a grown ass man, and that I know how to do my fucking job. If they want to get off their ass and help we could all go home earlier, but if I wanted to talk while doing my job I was more than capable and for them to fuck off. (Needless to say, I immediately got wrote up for this)

   I just wanted to Walk my cat

Another day another evil cat. Mind you I really don’t mind cats at all. They can be cute, but I have always been a dog person myself. I guess this is a because every cat I have ever know had been a little asshole. I had cats that would bite, scratch, even shit on my bed! Well, one day in the middle of a freezing January blizzard a woman comes in screaming that she needs help because her cat got out. I am the only one available to go an assist. She is panicking because we are part of a large shopping center and our parking lot is a very active one. She had put a dog collar on her can and use a leash to “walk her cat” For those of you who don’t know, a cat’s head and neck are about the same size, therefore they can easily escape a collar, and when “walked” require a harness instead. Well, I spent the better part of an hour crawling on the freezing asphalt in the middle a fucking blizzard under cars trying to catch this damn thing. By the time I actually managed to get ahold of the damn thing I quickly learned that this fucking four legged spawn of satan still had its claws. I ended up looking like I should have been in a psychiatric hospital on suicide watch. (both photos below original to retailanonymous.com)

 

 

   Overall I enjoyed my time at Petsmart. Yeah I hated the managers, but I could usually get by without them bugging me too much, and when they did I had no problems speaking my mind. Have you guys ever worked at a retail pet store? Let me know in the comments below, or via twitter! Until next time.

  • Rex

Shit People Ask me At Work

               So I am going to split this up into two parts today, because not only do customers ask the dumbest questions but occasionally even a coworker can ask something pretty of the wall.

Below is a list of some of the more memorable things customers have asked me recently.

1. Where are the bathrooms?

2. Can I use this coupon from last year?

3.  How do I get to (competitor store) from here? “Gee I don’t know how about you use that phone in your hand there to google it?”

4. This was on sale last week, can I get that price instead?

5. Can you price match this item to Walmart’s price?

6. Can you give me your employee discount? (I hear this just about every fucking day!)

7. Well, why not?

8. Lat time I was here this was cheaper I want that price. ( Okay, how about no)

9. I lost my credit card can I just take this and pay you tomorrow?

10. (clearly drunk already) “Yeah where is your “beers” at?

11. Can I get your number? (Just because I am gay does not mean I am interested in a 60+-year-old man)

12. Why do you work here? (my favorite response is telling them my parents sold me to CVS and I am paying off my debt.)

13 I need my propane refilled, can you come home and pick it up for me? (SERIOUSLY?!?!?!)

14. Are you guys closed? (No the security gate is down and I am walking to my car what do you think dumbass?)

15. (on the phone) Can you do a MoneyGram for ten thousand dollars to me as a test transaction?

               That was fifteen of many of the dumbest questions I have been asked by customers over the last few weeks. Now let’s move on to the employee side of things. Some of you may get these and some of you may not. I apologize, but I want to keep the questions as close to the originals as possible.

1. Hey, can you cover for me tomorrow? (I had just worked eleven days in a row and the girl knew that.)

2. Can I go home early so I can watch Big Brother tonight?

3. Am I allowed to go to the liquor store on my lunch break? (Only if you bring me something back!)

4. (asked a cashier to put a bag of candy back on the shelf a customer did not want as I was checking out a customer) Where does it go? (the item was literally right behind her and she had worked there for over a year!)

5. Where does the trash go?

6. What time do we close? (the same time we have closed for the last year!)

7. Can I just stay at the register all day instead of working on task? (yeah if you want to get written up and put us behind)

8. Can I keep the extra twenty dollars in the register?

9. Would I REALLY get fired if I stole this candy bar?

 

10. Can I go to the bathroom? (FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST TELL ME YOU NEED TO GO DON’T ASK!)

               So this is a bit short today because I am in the process of moving this month. Life has been very hectic between work, class and moving. So yeah hate me all you want. I am hoping to get some future story ideas from coworkers and fans on Twitter that way I can get started much earlier in the week. Thanks for reading until next time

  • Rex